I have recently finished reading Mark Thomas’s Extreme Rambling about his time walking the controversial barrier, manned by Israelis and despised by Palestinians, that keeps those two warring cultures apart. Today I met the man and found that the staunch Socialist was still walking, but this time from Vauxhall to Waterloo for our meeting because he would not cross the picket line to catch a tube train for that journey while some of the staff were on strike, writes Michael Holland.
He was actually on his way to Aldershot as part of his 50 Things tour but was taking the opportunity between gigs to talk about his Christmas show – An Extra Plate.
A Christmas show has never been on Mark’s agenda since he was able to say no to working over the Christmas period, but explains the change: ‘We were forced in to lockdown to be away from others, and people lost their sense of worth, their sense of self, their sense of identity, so the brilliant thing for me is getting out gigging again and being part of a community. I like the idea of people coming together on one of the longest days of the year to have a massive party… My mum and dad always used to put an extra plate out for anyone who might turn up, which is a very working-class thing.’
Mark reminisced about when the men would go out to the Lord Napier and whoever came back was welcome around the huge table built by dad. ‘You never knew who’d be coming back: aunts, uncles, cousins, girlfriends, boyfriends, mates, children and strangers just met in the pub… It was all about being inclusive and our Christmases was the same, and I love that, I love the garishness of Christmas, being over-the-top, people spending more than they’ve got – I hate the middle-class parsimonious Christmas when it needs to be an exuberant celebration and about sharing, so my Christmas show is about my family’s Christmas.’
Mark Thomas is a thoughtful, softly-spoken man who takes his time when speaking to you, ensuring he gets his message across in the best way. He is prone to digressing but you know that the path he has taken you down will be a good story and that he will always return to the original question – Meeting him is a world away from his fast-talking shows and the political stunts that have got him arrested.
It was during these conversational meanderings that I got to hear about the Christmas Club money getting stolen, and the mate who earned his first thousand pound by the age of eight by usurping the local cafe’s business, dad’s Commer van, the sausage and bean casserole for mum, and the football team that funds its women’s squad the same as the men’s.
But the political activist is never far away. He recalls his mum beginning to worry about what they would do for Christmas in September, ‘which is not good,’ he quickly adds. ‘Christmas is a time to be with your friends, your family; we’re not put on this planet to fulfil Amazon’s profit margins, it’s about enjoying our relationships with each other and being part of each other’s lives. F*ck everything else!’
With less than three weeks to the show opening, he revealed that nothing is written down yet: ‘It’s just a draft… I tell the story to my director and we work it out together.’
I could see he was looking forward to An Extra Plate because he already knows how good it is going to be. ‘I’m trying to get a Karaoke machine to get a few singers up before the show starts, with a little bar on stage for everyone who gives a song – I’m doing Stripes by Johnny Cash,’ he added with all the excitement of someone who knows what’s coming.
He then tried to lure me into a song so I changed the subject, but Mr Thomas weren’t having it. ‘Come early,’ he began, ‘Cos I’m gonna play a few Christmas singles on a little Dansette record player.’
I stayed non-committal.
‘And bring some decorations because the audience will decorate the stage a little bit more each night’.
I was warming to the subject.
‘We’re gonna have a riot of a show!’
Mark then told of the five months he spent caring for his mum during lockdown, which was an interesting period resulting in many hilarious tweets, and he revealed his plans for 2022.
There will be screenings of highlights from some of his TV shows, where he introduces favourite clips and tells the story behind them, and plans for a show about grassroots football involving 8000 Chagossians being kicked off the Chagos Islands when Britain claimed sovereignty to make way for an airbase: ‘They keep winning international court cases about Britain having to let these people back on to their island, but we won’t allow them back!’
The story, which Mark is chasing up, is that the majority of the UK’s Chagossian population are based in Crawley and have started up a Chagos Islands football team. ‘I love the idea,’ he says with a conspiratorial smile, ‘that they have started their own Chagos team in the expectation that the State of Chagos will come along at some later date… They play in a league for Stateless States along with the Kurds and the Punjabis…’
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
‘During lockdown Chagos won their World Cup in a tournament in Bradford. They celebrated their win under a flyover with drink bought from an off licence because no pubs were open!’
Now I laughed, even though there is sadness in this tale, and knew that this was a show that I can’t wait to see next year when Mark tours it around ‘club bars in non-league grounds where the grassroots stuff is really happening’.
It was at this point that Mark proudly showed off his Grenfell Athletic football shirt, which was under about three layers of outdoor clothing, before continuing with amazing football facts from the lower leagues and how he has gone in to it for the politics.
I was very much aware that Mark had a train to catch, but he kept talking, always wanting to engage and get people onside, even when it was an audience of one, and with just minutes to spare he started on a new conversation about the connection between old music hall acts, Ian Dury, Chas & Dave, and John Cooper Clarke that involved a rendition of Harry Champion’s Any Old Iron and how those that followed carried on the tradition of singing about working-class life.
We parted with a laugh about Boiled Beef and Carrots and how I had to get up and do Karaoke at his Christmas show.
Battersea Arts Centre, Lavender Hill, London, SW11 5TN from Tues 14th December – Thurs 23rd December. Time: 8pm (Sat 18th Dec 3pm & 8pm). Tickets: Pay What You Can (Suggested price £20)
All performances are Relaxed, Tues 14th December is a Socially Distanced performance
Booking: 0207 2232223 – https://bac.org.uk/whats-on/mark-thomas-an-extra-plate/
Photos: M. Holland