A Bermondsey family was left devastated when the ashes of three of their relatives, including their father and husband who suffered a tragic death, were ‘lost.’
Stephen Butler and his mother, Pam, of Nelldale Road, claimed a planter with the ashes inside first went missing in late 2022 amidst building works. Contractors deny any responsibility for its disappearance.
“At the time we had builders doing major works outside that took a good few years to complete,” Stephen said.
The ‘disruptive’ works involved tearing out their garden and resurfacing it all to make way for two new blocks of flats next door.
Stephen continued: “The ashes of my dad, grandad and grandma were in a nice big planter just outside the back doors.”
Pam, who lost her husband 25 years ago after he tragically drowned on holiday, explained: “My husband loved the garden. So I put him there and it was a real comfort for us.
“My wish was to one day have our ashes next to each other in the planter. I feel like I’ve been robbed of that.”
She described how she felt when the ashes went missing: “It was like losing them all over again.”
The pair allege the items may have been moved during the building works. “We had a designated area outside where the stuff was, including the planter with the ashes, but we came back one day and they were gone.
“This has caused us so much heartache. It was horrible to think they could be on a tip somewhere.”
Despite their inquiries, and the contractor offering their condolences on ’the loss’ of the ashes, the company did not admit any liability for the missing items.
Stephen claimed after ‘getting nowhere’ with the contractor, they contacted the developer for help with locating the items.
In a statement, the developer, Apex, told us: “We were not aware of the activity that led to the alleged loss as Mr Butler liaised directly with [the contractor] and consequently we had no knowledge or input at that time.
“We were also only made aware many months afterwards. That being said, we are trying to arrive at a solution and have been progressing a without prejudice gesture of goodwill.”
Stephen added: “Of course we want the ashes back. But we also want to make other people aware that this kind of thing can happen and in hindsight, we should have taken more charge of the situation.”
Lambeth and Southwark Housing Association – which owns the property – said: “We are sorry to hear about the distress this situation continues to cause the family and that a suitable resolution has not been reached.
“Responsibility for compensating residents for lost items rests with either the developer or the contractor if fault can be established.”
They said they had raised the issue with the contractor when it was brought to their attention last year.
“Whilst Mr Butler’s family has not contacted us directly, we would be happy to meet with them if they would find that helpful.”
The contractor was approached for comment.